I can’t believe it has been two months already, since I started my journey. It’s weird because it feels not too long ago I had a nine-to-five. At the same time, it feels like ages ago. I was a different person. I’m still me, but a more chilled version of me. For starters, I’m a chronic nail biter but I’ve noticed that my nails are actually finally, dare I say, long? I finally did it mom! Stress nowadays merely surfaces from figuring out what to eat and what to do 🙂
It’s fucking great.
A weird feeling to be planning a vacation, while on a vacation
By the second month, something bizarre started to happen. I actually fantasize about my next destination and that feels like the vacation I’m waiting for. The current location feels less appealing, day by day. I guess this is a natural evolution since I end up planning part of my activities for my next city in my current location. For example, I’m currently in Xi’an, but I’ve already started planning Shanghai and Taiwan. It’s mostly an economical decision to do so since last minute flights are obviously not optimal. It doesn’t rob me from enjoying my current location, but it does produce a weird feeling to be planning a vacation, while on a vacation. Not something I’ve felt before.
It’s a totally different experience to wake up at the time your body wants to on a daily basis, and ponder for about, 30 minutes or more: “what am I going to eat and do today?” It’s a very slow-paced process and somehow never boring. I suppose it’s never boring because I’m always in different cities so all I have to do is walk in a new direction I haven’t before and automatically, everything is new. I haven’t felt this kind of freedom since I was a child.
In terms of expenses, as expected, I’ve spent a lot. I’m expecting my daily average to drop dramatically now that Japan/Australia/New Zealand stretch is over. Though I think things got a little out of hand in the last month, where I splurged on a few fancy restaurants and bars.
I think my beard is crazy.
An oddity I see emerging is my weird relationship with my beard. Think of it as Tom Hanks and Wilson in Castaway. You know, he was totally sane, but he talked to that damn volleyball in order to stay sane. I play with my beard constantly and I think it’s because I have nothing else to do with my hands. I mostly walk all day and night and look at stuff. I want to trim the beard, but it tells me not to because I’m going to miss it. I think my beard is crazy.
I have slowed down the amount of activities I’ll do in one day. My body demands it so. It was a pace I could not sustain. The trade-off is staying in a city longer or seeing less. I’ve gotten more conscious about taking care of my body since I use it constantly for much more than just sitting in a chair all day long.
One recent development is that I’ve begun to dislike weekends. I can’t believe I just said that, but it’s true. With only so much limited time in each city, it really sucks to go somewhere and not be able to participate in things. Whether it’s a show, a restaurant, or a tour, because on weekends, they’re obviously booked. Not to mention how pictures look when they’re plagued with people. Many times, I just don’t take the picture. But during week, I get in anywhere I want and it’s a much more enjoyable experience.
I’m drifting without an anchor. I miss home.
There’s a feeling that started two weeks ago and I suspect that it will continue to grow: I miss home. I don’t literally mean the physical location of what I used to call home. For example, I didn’t miss home in Budapest like I do now and I was there for 5 months. What I miss is the concept of a home. That is, a place where I can go for comfort, where I feel I belong. Part of it has to do with only staying in hostels, where privacy is non-existent. Everything is shared. But it is also that I’m constantly on the move. I don’t have a sense of familiarity to anything anymore. I’m drifting without an anchor. So while it’s cool and fun to see new places everyday and eat in new restaurants, it’s also weird to have nothing familiar to you in life anymore. To put it bluntly, I miss my germs. I miss my toilet. There is something about coming home to your stuff. There’s a sense of tranquility in knowing where your stuff has been and where it hasn’t. How clean something is or is not. There’s a lot of knowledge you possess about the things around you. So, it is the sense of having familiar things around me that I miss. That is the downside of having everything be ‘new’ repeatedly. I mostly feel this way in the evenings before going to bed and when I’m falling asleep. But during the day, I’m constantly distracted with the ‘new’ things around me. And my beard 🙂